It broke my heart.
Although Emily has cri du chat syndrome, I have raised her to believe in herself.
Over the last 2 years, we talked about life after high school. We talked about the fact that she doesn’t have to do post secondary studies…
I guess I never realized that not having to go was not clear enough…
Just thinking about Thursday’s conversation brings tears to my eyes.
When I arrived home, Emily told me there was something in her bookbag for me to look at.
She was excited… really excited.
On Thursday,the students in grade 11 & 12 at Emily’s high school went to a post secondary “trade show” where Universities, colleges and trade skills schools were represented.
Emily told me which University she picked. She picked U de M (because it’s French and she speaks French) and was going to study musique (because she needs to get better at reading music).
She was so proud… And I was devastated.
I smiled, told her to get ready to go to horseback riding and looked at the brochure.
Emily will not have the required credits to go to University after grade 12.
I debated how to tell her.
I don’t lie to her.
I refuse to lie to her.
Later that evening, after horseback riding, we were all in bed, chatting when the subject was brought back up.
I told her …
I told Emily that she will not go to University.
It broke my heart.
I singlehandedly crushed my daughter’s dream.
I felt like the worst mom! And I still do.
I tried to explain to her why and that maybe one day if she continues to work with a private tutor, maybe she will have the required credits.
I asked her why she wants to go to University so badly and see if what she wants can be achieved differently.
We talked about music lessons and other things.
She cried so much.
She fell asleep in my arms…crying.
She woke-up and cried some more.
I didn’t send her to school on Friday and I took the day off to be with her.
We decided, together, to build a vision board. Something to help Emily visualize what she wants to do and steps to get there.
Slowly, this morphed into a scrapbook idea about her passions and hobbies combined with a vision board component…
We are far from being done…
We need to print some pictures and find a way to add the vision board to it all but so far so good.
Emily is feeling better and smiling once again