I am aware of so many things…
I can tell you what time it is without having to look at a clock.
I know how long it takes for Emily to….
Use the bathroom
Brush her teeth
Have breakfast with or without the tv on
I know her school schedule, her tutoring schedule, when she cheers, plays baseball, sails, rides (horses) or have appointments
Yes, I write it all on the calendar on the wall, in a paper agenda and in a shared electronic calendar but I still know before any of those tell me
I am aware of ….
How much soap she uses in the shower or if she needs help rinsing her hair
I know how long it will take her to get dress after a shower as opposed to getting dress on a morning without a shower
I am aware of the food we have in the pantry and in the fridge so I know that we are ok to have breakfast and make lunches for school
I am aware of which pieces of clothing are clean and which are in the laundry basket. I always know if what she wants to wear is clean
I am aware of how long it takes Emily to pick an outfit
I know when I need to pick her outfit and I know how to lay her clothes on her bed for her to get ready faster
I get a little nagging feeling when she needs help. By the time she says “mom!?!?!” I’m already on my way
It’s not even 8am and all of this has happened already
While I make sure Emily stays on task, I am also getting ready for my day.
I know how she is feeling. I know when she’s healthy or sick and I know when she’s trying to fake being sick. I know which part of her body hurts even when she can’t tell me
I am aware of the help she might need to clean-up and do her hair and make-up
I know to ask her if she wants to put on jewelry
I am aware of the weather
I know how to help Emily pick her shoes, jacket and scarf for the day
I know the music she wants to listen to on the way to school
I am aware when she wants to talk and when she wants to sing
I know some of her dreams and hopes
This week, she started grade 12!
I know everything she eats
I know the shows and movies she likes
I thought I knew all of her struggles but missed a big one recently, it nearly broke my heart to learn about it
I see every changes on the floor, ground, sidewalk, hallway, stairs. I know Emily might not see them or might think their is a step when there is none. So I am aware of our surroundings. All the time!
I know her medical history
I am her biggest fan and strongest advocate
I am her mom and the day she was born I never dreamed that my life would be like this but today, I wouldn’t change anything!
I’m exhausted but I adore Emily, she is an amazing young lady
I know I need to find her that special person to teach her more about painting so she can improve her art
I know I need to help her make connections in the community
I know I need to focus on learning about adult programs, support workers and how Emily will continue to learn and grow after high school is over
I know I need to treat her like a young adult and teach her life skills
I know she needs to learn to be more independent
I know this is where we are at but in my heart, she will always be my baby
If you haven’t had a chance, please go check Emily’s business page on Facebook: Emily’s Hopes and Dreams