It broke my heart.
Although Emily has cri du chat syndrome, I have raised her to believe in herself.
Over the last 2 years, we talked about life after high school. We talked about the fact that she doesn’t have to do post secondary studies…
I guess I never realized that not having to go was not clear enough…
Just thinking about Thursday’s conversation brings tears to my eyes.
When I arrived home, Emily told me there was something in her bookbag for me to look at.
She was excited… really excited.
On Thursday,the students in grade 11 & 12 at Emily’s high school went to a post secondary “trade show” where Universities, colleges and trade skills schools were represented.
Emily told me which University she picked. She picked U de M (because it’s French and she speaks French) and was going to study musique (because she needs to get better at reading music).
She was so proud… And I was devastated.
I smiled, told her to get ready to go to horseback riding and looked at the brochure.
Emily will not have the required credits to go to University after grade 12.
I debated how to tell her.
I don’t lie to her.
I refuse to lie to her.
Later that evening, after horseback riding, we were all in bed, chatting when the subject was brought back up.
I told her …
I told Emily that she will not go to University.
It broke my heart.
I singlehandedly crushed my daughter’s dream.
I felt like the worst mom! And I still do.
I tried to explain to her why and that maybe one day if she continues to work with a private tutor, maybe she will have the required credits.
I asked her why she wants to go to University so badly and see if what she wants can be achieved differently.
We talked about music lessons and other things.
She cried so much.
She fell asleep in my arms…crying.
She woke-up and cried some more.
I didn’t send her to school on Friday and I took the day off to be with her.
We decided, together, to build a vision board. Something to help Emily visualize what she wants to do and steps to get there.
Slowly, this morphed into a scrapbook idea about her passions and hobbies combined with a vision board component…
I am not crafty. Scrapbooking is not something I know how to do but if it could bring my happy girl back… 
We started with baseball and cheerleading.
We are far from being done…
We need to print some pictures and find a way to add the vision board to it all but so far so good.
Emily is feeling better and smiling once again
Lessons from my daughter 
Sending hugs for all of you ❤
Thankyou
((Hugs)) Those conversations are so hard! She may not be able to go to university “now” but one never knows what the future holds. I know colleges for kids with special needs do exist, is this not a possibility for her? I think keeping hope alive with her future board/book is a fantastic idea. http://www.HiddenWings.org is a place a friend of ours son attends, they might have suggestions for a future education for Emily. I know they do A LOT for young adults with special needs, mainly spectrum, but all special needs. They may be able to brain storm and come up with ideas for you and Emily!!!
Thank you for reading and commenting. We will be looking at options eventually 😊. Options varies depending where you live and who knows where we will be in a year or so! We are definitely open to relocating, this might be the beginning of an awesome adventure for us!
You are truly an amazing mama!!! ❤
Thank you 😊
Reblogged this on Lessons from my daughter and commented:
Reblogging a post that still triggers tears when I read it! A quick update, we bought more scrapbooking supplies but haven’t done anymore scrapbooking. Maybe I should find a course!?!?
This post broke my heart. This is a hard situation. You are doing a wonderful job. You are strong, smart and resilient
Thank you. I raised my girl believing in herself and I’ve never put limitations on her… Telling her this in words she could understand was extremely difficult. Thank you for reading!
It was an honor to read it.
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You are an exceptional mom
Gulp
We are better now!
Thank goodness
I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been expressed, but it broke my heart and wanted to send you some hugs!!!
Thank you! I’ll take the hugs!!!
Respect to you for being such a great mommy. My son had other problems, but got an education anyway, even his school told us this would never be possible. Never give up, just fight 😀
Thank you! I have spent lots of time over the last 2 days organizing a team of Emily’s core people to go through a PATH (Planning Alternatives Tomorrow with Hope) session with Emily. This should help her see her future… Looks like it will happen on Dec 4th. I’m really looking forward to this.
Good to hear, wish you all the best.
Thank you
Oh, this post broke my heart. You’re such a good mom, first for refusing to lie, but also for helping Emily envision her dreams and a successful future. Lovely.
Thank you. This was not easy and I will find her some options… I just don’t know what they are yet.
Oh my, you have brought tears to my eyes. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to tell her and how hard it was for her to hear. But I loved that you turned it into a potentially positive situation. I know that there are universities that offer special needs kids the chance to study and learn. Not sure which ones and not sure there are any in Canada but I will do some research and let you know if I find anything specific.
I’ll be researching too. I think our first step is to better understand Emily and what she wants… Thank find ways to get there. I’m not giving up, we will figure it out.
This was such an emotional post!!
Thank you for taking the time to read! It means a lot.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post!
i love your vision board idea. suggestion: what if she took a summer camp/class located at the uni? or was a part of some other activities that happen on campus? there are usually movie nights, games, short camps, etc. check with your local unis and see what is offered.
We have lots of researching to do… There isn’t much around here for young adults like Emily. There’s been article published about this lack of “after high school” options… It’s scary.
That must’ve been the hardest talk to have. I feel for you, both. With my autistic son, I have no idea what to anticipate after high school. He’s still in middle school. But I hope to help him achieve whatever path he chooses. And if its not realistic, I don’t know how we’ll handle it. 😕
I still don’t know how we will handle it. I’m sure this is not the end of it… This conversation will happen again… This morning, Emily said her leg was hurting and she couldn’t go to school. It took some time and negotiation but she’s in school now. I don’t know how she will be at pick-up time… I don’t think she wanted to go to school today…
It’s gotta be hard for her, to see her friends planning, etc. Give it a bit of time, keep looking at other options. She’ll be ok and likely will find something that speaks to her, that doesn’t necessarily require college. I know it probably is killing you inside. I can empathize, and may be there myself someday soon. Just try to stay positive for her. 😕
I think that’s the difficult part. She might have told some people last week that she was going to U de M after high school… We will figure it out!
It’ll work out some way. She seems bright and driven. She’ll find her way, whatever path that leads down.
Thank you. I’ll be doing lots of research too. I refuse to think that’s it. There has to be other options… We will find her path.
We will be in the same boat in a few years. And we will do the same. There’s something out there for her. She may figure it out before y’all do. 😃
She definitely will 🙂
😦
It sucked!
You are such a good mother…honest and true and very loving 🙂
Thank you. This was so difficult for all of us 😦 Emily is functioning at a higher level than we ever hoped and it comes with moments like this…
❤
🙂