My man

Earlier this week, we celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. 

As a little girl, I didn’t dream of wedding…

As a teenager and young adult I couldn’t imagine being married to one person for the rest of my life…

I have had 3 relationships of importance before meeting Jonathan. 

I dated my high school sweetheart for 2 years. 

Dated a guy in college for a year. 

Was single for a year than dated another guy for 2 years, we lived together for that second year and I realized on a road trip that he wasn’t the guy for me…

Jonathan was different. 

He was mysterious… 

He was speaking a foreign language (English πŸ˜‰)…

He was sexy! 😍

We didn’t plan to fall in love!

We both had plans to work in Mont-Tremblant, QuΓ©bec for awhile than move on with our careers. 

We started dating in Dec 1996…

I moved in his appartment on Feb 1st 1997… To save money and let’s be honest, he lived closer to work than I did 😜

May 1997, we embarked on a road trip… We drove at least 3,000 km together.   

My family didn’t speak English…. Jon’s French was basic and my English was improving. 

I remember my mom telling me that this guy was different! 

Mom knows best right?

πŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜

I sometimes imagine conversations in my head. 

Our daughter is 17… 

We talk about many things but we also don’t talk about even more things so I imagine…  I will be ready if she ever asks me how I knew he was the guy for me. 

πŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜

The truth is, I didn’t know. 

We were not planning on being together forever so we never felt the need to pretend. 

When we fell in love, we fell for each other. 

No games, no being extra nice, no wearing make-up and being available whenever he wanted me to. 

Jonathan learned not to wake me up for no reasons. 

I learned to give him space and go with the flow…. 

To be honest, I’m still working on the going with the flow thing…

That’s what my mom saw!

She saw “ME” with Jonathan. 

She saw me being myself, she saw me laugh and she saw me happy!

Over the months, it became obvious that what we had wasn’t temporary.  

I went from not being able to imagine being married to not being able to see my life without him in it!

 
So if Emily ever asks me how I knew…

I will have to say that it felt right…

Jonathan allowed me to be myself, loved me without asking for anything in return, accepted me the way I was (good, awesome and not so good sides), made me laugh, spoiled me with attention and shared my values. 

I believe I did the same for him!

πŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜

Almost 19 years together and 17 years married…

We faced more as a couple than we ever signed up for!  

How do I know he is still my guy?

When my legs hurt, he rubs A535 on them. 

When I’m sad, he holds me in his arms. 

When I need cake, ice cream or chips… He says he won’t go get it but he goes 😍

When there is just too much going on in my head, he holds me till I fall asleep. 

When I’m down, he lifts me up. 

When he’s off, he makes us dinner! 

 
I believe I do as much for him as he does for me which is part of what keeps us together. 

My man!     

 

My baby girl’s syndrome

Today marked the 16th anniversary of Emily’s diagnosis…

Cri du chat syndrome… Or CDC syndrome… Or 5P-

16 years ago, our life changed

Emily15mo
This 15 months old little girl has changed us. 

I write about Emily’s success, I tell you about all the wonderful things she does and I show you pictures that showcase my girl in the best light possible. 

I told you about the day the genetic counsellors told us that she would never walk, talk, recognize us, show emotions, learn to eat…

I told you how she can do all of those things. 

I don’t tell you about some of her challenges because she asked me not to. 

The fact that she can ask me not to tell you some of her more private struggles is a success. 

She understands that some things are private. 

I do my best to take you into our world but I don’t believe my writing will ever do Emily justice.

I don’t dwell on the things that I couldn’t and sometimes still can’t control. 

The hair and nail pulling, my back pain, sleepless nights, completely scary amount of vomitting, surgeries, hospital stays, getting slapped, pushed, kicked or hit, biting, teeth grinding, my concussion, my TMJ, school meetings, tutoring, various therapies, sign language classes, PECS system, psychologist assessment, doctors appointments, vacation days spent at the hospital, schedule juggling and financially broke…. Just to name a few…

This journey we’ve been on is not an easy one. 

On many occasions, it sucked!

The thing is, I can’t live a life where those moments define me and my outlook on life. 

I chose to be happy!

I chose to be inspired by Emily!

I chose the smiles, laugh, cuddles…

I chose to see that Emily can help with small tasks around the house, I chose to see that she is happy in school and continues to learn. 

I chose to sing my head off with her in the car and watch whatever it is she wants to watch on tv. 

I love that she understands two languages and understands empathy and other complex emotions. 

I love how stubborn she is!  Her determination is admirable. 

I love how patient she is!  She will continue to explain herself until she’s understood..

I love how girly she is. 

I love how fearless she is.  One day I will show you videos of her signing on stage at a coffee shop or taking over a dance number πŸ™‚

I love watching her cheer, play baseball, ride horses, sail, shop,drink tea, bowl, …

I love how much she loves me!!!

To see myself through her eyes makes my life and all the challenges we’ve been through worth it. 

To be Emily’s mom is the hardest most amazing thing I have ever done. 

My girl has cri du chat syndrome but it doesn’t define her!

She defines it and she is awesome!

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