cri du chat syndrome | Lessons from my daughter

This morning, as per most mornings, I helped Emily picked her outfit.

We picked jeans with some holes in them, her pink M&M I love NYC t-shirt and a lime green hoodie.

She looked really cute.

Once ready to go, she grabbed her orange jacket and a yellow & orange scarf.

It was cold out this morning. We had frost on the car and were just slightly above freezing level.

Emily was all set to go except for her footwear.

She was standing in front of her shoe rack, looking at her wedges but not doing anything.

She’s never worn heels at school. This was a big no-no in middle school. No heels, no fancy boots, no overly cute shoes because they stayed in the hall all day and could easily disappear.

High school is different. Emily gets to wear (all day) whatever shoes she picked in the morning.

So she’s been wearing her fancy boots a lot and really enjoying them.

But this morning, she wanted to wear these:

She got the ok from her back surgeon last spring. She’s done growing and her small curve in her spine hasn’t changed while she was growing so she’s ok.

She loves those shoes but rarely wears them.

When she does wear them its for a short time.

I reminded her about steps at school with no railing and tried to change her mind.

She looked at me and said: “mom, trust me, I can do this!”

That was my cue to stop nagging or worrying.

I raised an independent daughter who wants to make her own decision.

I am really proud of that accomplishment but still tried to change her mind one more time.

I got the look! So I said ok, go for it!

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When I got home tonight, I asked her how was her day.

“My shoes were tiring… Tomorrow I wear flats!”

Thats when the voice inside my head said “mom 1 Emily 0”.

This time the life lesson was for Emily. Heels are pretty but hard to stand on and walk around all day. Flats are perfect for high school.

I am so glad she didn’t break her neck or an ankle to learn this!

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I am sure I am to blame for this!

I have always encouraged Emily to make her decisions with regards to her clothing.

I gave her some ground rules, I have been repeating them for at least 13 years now!

1. No cleavage showing (until you are at least 35 🙂 )

2. No mid-section showing (EVER!)

3. Track pants are for the gym

and at some point I had to add…

4. Pyjamas are for bed time

Those are the rules!

With that being said, on Saturday afternoon, after her shower, Emily came to the living room wearing this:

Beautiful! But not really a staying at home doing nothing special outfit… It lasted maybe 15 minutes than she realized it wasn’t really comfortable and changed.

Here are some other Emily picking her clothes highlights!

I never said “limited jewelry”!

Pretty dress and crown at school!

Orange phase

Pink phase with awesome cowboy boots

I know, you are thinking short skirt….. actually skort!!! skirt in the front, shorts in the back!!!

She liked the dress and decided to wear it

Glasses, no prescriptions! It lasted maybe a month

Biker chick without the biker boyfriend or the bike…. thank goodness!

Pretty dress over pants or leggins. Little vest. I love that look on her

This almost looks too old for her

I loved her pixie cut! Cute dress again!

Long to the ground summer dress

Please don’t get out of the house like this outfit…. She’s not breaking any rules so she did go out like this! Pink tank top, purple thingy to wear over a swimsuit, pink mexican top worn as a skirt and hard to see on the picture but still… grey leggins with skulls on them!

Of course this is just a sample, she has many more looks. Every morning as she walks in her new high school she receives an onslaught of compliments from the educational assistants.

“Wow, you are mixing lime green and purple, this is so pretty”

“Oh, I love your boots”

“What a nice scarf”

“I need to go shopping with you”

“What a beautiful dress”

And so on!

I did this, I created a little monster who likes to wear pretty clothes and matches them up pretty well (most of the time). I remember Emily being little and my mom telling me to stop spending money on clothes. Over the years, my answer stayed the same.

Emily will forever struggle with being accepted, she might be made fun of for being slower, for being different but she won’t be picked on for her clothes. That’s the one thing I can give her. I can do this for her.

She is now capable to see in a change room which clothes work well with her figures and which don’t. It’s no longer just about how it looked on the hanger. I am extremely proud of her for seeing the difference on pretty on the hanger and fabulous or non-fabulous on her.

We have built her self-esteem so high that she can wear that last outfit but I do prefer something more like this one!