Travel | Lessons from my daughter

Over the weekend, Emily and I visited some of my family.

Whenever we go to my mom’s place we try to go for a big breakfast before we hit the road back. We always go to the same place.

“Chez Oeufs”

Emily orders either crêpes or a waffle covered in Nutella and bananas!!! I try whatever combination of poached eggs and hollandaise sauce I can find. This time I had artichokes, spinach and asparagus in my plate!!!

I love food! Breakfast was delicious!

Whenever we go “Chez Oeufs” we always invite anyone who wants to join us. This time we were 9 and I loved it!

As per usual, at one point or another during a family meal or a family reunion the conversation will turn to Emily.

This time was no exception. My little brother’s mother in law was commenting how she took upon herself to educate some of the guests at the christening the day before about Emily’s difference.

She had noticed them looking at Emily and decided to let them know what she knew.

I had noticed them too but was busy keeping an eye on Emily in the pool or getting her food ready or helping her change after swimming and so on…

I know I should have taken time to chat with them but I’m not comfortable doing that so it was easier to stay busy…

I know, that’s a shame but I never said I was perfect!

I should be able to talk to strangers about my daughter considering I write about her right?

Wrong!!!

Back to my story…

D. is telling us how she handled the guest’s curiosity. She did really well and they all marveled at my dedication to my child…

In my mind, I’m not any different than another parent, I just have a different reality…

But apparently to witness me take care of a tired teary 15 year old Emily made me almost a Saint in their eyes… 🙂

Ok, I’ll be a saint for now… 😇

But the truth is, I have no idea how my life would be without Emily and her challenges. I have no idea how to be a mom without being crazy in love with my kid and doing everything I can for her to have a good life.

Most of the time her physical age is irrelevant…

When she was tired and everybody was loud and she didn’t want to be there anymore, she was trying to crawl in my arms to be comforted… In that moment she was closer to 3 than she was to 15 but she still measured 5’7″

My choices were limited on how to handle the situation in order for all involved to be minimally impacted.

I decided that Emily and I would go back to my mom’s place as she had been over stimulated all day. We gave hugs and kisses to all and I kept right by her, telling her softly that we were leaving, that it was ok, that it would be quiet as soon as we would get out of the house.

Emily calmed down slightly as soon as we left.

Did I miss part of the evening? Yes!

If we had stayed, would I had been able to enjoy the evening and fun company? No!

Did I enjoy leaving? Not really!

Did I enjoy seeing Emily calm down, gaining control over her overstimulated senses? Yes

Did I enjoy her climbing to bed and falling asleep without me having to drag her there and repeatedly tell her to go to sleep? Oh yes!!!

To have tried to stay would have made things worst and wasn’t worth it.

Emily has taught me to pick me battles wisely. I’m getting better at it. I sometimes still make the wrong choices but I’m not perfect!

Can you pick your battles wisely?

July 1 2013 – Canada Day

Our town and the surrounding towns are celebrating Canada Day quite a bit.

Outdoor concerts, giant games, bouncy castles, face painting and more. The day ends with fireworks over the river.

We don’t participate in the celebrations. We tried when we first got here… We tried for a couple of years actually… a lot of the activities are for kids and the best spot is just around the corner from our house. We can walk there!

Emily was 8 the first year… The loud voices of parents screaming at their kids, babies crying, kids playing and ignoring screaming parents plus the Master of Ceremony…. were too much for her! The outdoor music bothered her…. The big crowd bothered her…. She wanted to go to the bouncy castles but the multitude of balloons completely traumatized her….

She wanted to stay but couldn’t manage it.

I (we) had to pick her up and carry her back home. Of course, all that while people are staring and wondering what’s wrong with her.

We tried again the year after but got the same reaction…

She was getting heavy to carry home and we were getting a lot of attention from people who could have been minding their own business. It makes me wonder if their life’s are so boring that staring at us was the highlight of their day….

So we tried…. for 2 or 3 years.

We don’t try anymore!

It is so not worth it to upset her that much! We can BBQ at home, crank the music up and enjoy Canada day in our backyard. It’s free and we don’t have balloons. If the song of the moment upsets Emily, we can skip it.

Nobody stare!!!

We’ve taken Emily to the fireworks over the years. If we are too close, the noise bothers her… If we are too far, they are not really impressive. Although they are the high point of the celebrations!

I think we’ve been skipping the fireworks over the last couple of years. You have to find a spot to watch them, park the car, wait till 10pm than be stuck in traffic for awhile once they are done.

In my humble opinion, it’s not worth if!

Last night at 9:40, Emily decided we had to go see the fireworks so we went. Her in her pyjamas me in my clothes 🙂

We parked far away and waited 10 minutes.

When they started, we got out of the car.

Within 5 minutes, Emily was crying….

“Mom, those are sooooo boring! There’s no music and …… It’s boring…..”

I was laughing at her reaction while she was bawling….

I know…. Bad mommy!!! But come on! That was so funny.

It appears my child was expecting a Disney/Epcot Center quality fireworks in our little city…

LMFAO!!!

We got back in the car, drove home and went to bed.

She cried a little more so we cuddled and eventually fell asleep.

I find it so much easier to avoid those big disappointments with her rather than subjecting her to them but sometimes I wonder if by doing so, I am removing an opportunity for her to learn something… Thoughts?