If you have been following Lessons from my Daughter for awhile, you know about the famous elbow to the head.
It happened on October 2nd 2013 and I wrote about here: It’s not nice to hit
Come on, go back and click the link, it will help you follow where I am going.
I rarely write about the downside of having a child who doesn’t quite control her movements.
That hit on October 2nd 2013 did something to me.
To start, it gave me a concussion. I tried to ignore it for a week before the headaches and discomfort made me consult.
It took me 2 weeks before I woke-up without a headache.
By Halloween (29 days later) I was still not well so I treated you to pictures of Emily dressing up. The art of dressing up! Not just for halloween…!
A couple of days later I went back to work but I was careful not to over do it.
Over the following 2 years, I have had what I call concussion headaches, hopping on a plane now means serious headaches on arrival. I asked the dentist if my teeth were turning bad as they were hurting so much but the dentist said they were fine. I consulted various specialists and therapists about my headaches, my concussion, my ears, my teeth and my jaw
I thought I was losing my mind.
September 2015, I was enlighten From concussion to TMJ and embarked on a new recovery path.
My dentist changed my little metal bar behind my teeth to a retainer around that same time.
Within days it was obvious that I clench and lock my jaw overnight which contributes to my headaches and jaw pain.
As of yesterday 29.5 months later, I now have a bite plate to wear at night to help reduce the stress on my jaw and eventually, hopefully reduce the headaches…
I haven’t been on a plane since May, we will see in June if this is still an issue.
I can’t imagine ever riding a roller coaster again as the movements are too much for my brain.
This is my reality.
The reality of many parents out there.
Our kids are not trying to hurt us, Emily never meant to hit me exactly where it would trigger all of this. None of this is her fault but this is my reality.
I rarely write about the downside of having a child who doesn’t quite control her movements because I don’t want to dwell on it.
I try not to think too much about how over the years, I had my hair and nail pulled, I got slapped, pushed, bitten, kicked or hit. How much sleep I didn’t get, how much vomit I cleaned or how many vacation days I spent in hospital or in therapies. I don’t want to know how much money and time we spent on tutoring, sign language classes, PECS system and other therapy equipment.
I don’t want to associate my back pain, my headaches and TMJ with my child so I don’t.
This is my reality and the reality of many other parents of exceptional children!
Recently, I have witnessed parents of children with special needs being verbally attack for taking care of themselves, for mani-pedi, for going to the gym or tanning salon.
To those parents, good for you, take care of yourself, we all need to take care and spoil ourselves for our own sanity and to continue fighting and advocating for our kid.
To those commenting, pointing fingers and verbally attacking these parents please know that when you do that, you attack all of us.
All Of Us!
We are a big family who can be kicked and pushed around but we won’t stop moving forward, we will not stop defending our kids, we will not stop advocating for them and we will not apologize for finding tiny pockets of time to take care of ourselves.
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Emily has a her own page in the family stories , you can find it here: Emily
You are such a great teacher. You make me step out of my comfort zone and see how everyone has a different normality. Emily is such a good woman, just like her mom.
Thank you Nancy!
Over the years I’ve had my glasses broken, been bitten, pinched, head butted and any number of other “injuries”. Nothing nearly as serious as what you’ve had to deal with. But I have never blamed our sweet Allie. She doesn’t understand the consequences (although the pinching and biting are much less now than they used to be). Every child provides challenges and the special needs child’s challenges are simply different. I never judge any parent. I try to be open and understanding of what they deal with. And I have discovered that a smile and a simple sentence (like, “it’s hard isn’t it?” or “You may not believe it, but you’ll make it through these times.”) help and encourage the other person so much.
It’s quite a journey we are all in. Thank you for your kind words. 💜
Reblogged this on Lessons from my daughter and commented:
Reblogging to complement my other post and provide more insights into this side of raising Emily.
what a great lesson from someone who’s been there. i have learned to never judge.
It always amazes me how people feel that their opinion on a subject unknown to them matters…
Everyone, especially women, is quick to point a finger or to ask impertinent questions. It is awful! I have similar experiences but for different reasons. And it is women who make the nasty, inconsiderate remarks that do more harm than good! 😕
In the last example I saw it was one of the mom’s supposed friends who just “had to” say something. It was mean and uncalled for. I don’t get this type of behavior.
Me neither. Sometimes it is better to mind your own business and yes, keep your mouth shut! I do it all the time at work haha
Great post! We, readers, are blessed to have generous parents like yourself who give us a glimpse of your world. You are an amazing mom, kiddo!! Spring is almost here!! even in Quebec 😉
Thank you! Spring had been here all winter! Its been a really strange winter and today we got snow! It’s all very confusing! I miss Quebec so much. One day, I think we will have to move back, just not sure where!
I moved back 7 years ago and it took getting used to. Toronto winters are so mild compared to here and here we pay so much taxes. Where are you from, Pascale? Cheryl-Lynn
I grew-up on the Gaspe coast than lived in Montreal, Mont-Tremblant and Montebello before moving to New Brunswick!
I grew-up on the Gaspe coast than lived in Montreal, Mont-Tremblant and Montebello before moving to New Brunswick! I miss it. I could do without winter but i just miss living in Quebec
My son goes to New Richmond every year in June for the races; Funny though he would like to move to New Brunswick…teaching in English schools in Quebec is not optimistic.
New Brunswick is wonderful! We’ve been here 13 years. New Richmond is near where I grew-up!
You said it mama!