I knew it would happen at some point.
I figured my post about “The God emails” would be the one…
Than I thought maybe this one would do it : Segregation or Association of like minded people
But I never imagined it would be this one : I forgot father’s day
Yes, forgetting father’s day is bad but I truly thought my post was clear about the fact that I celebrate father’s day all year long. I refuse to wait for my calendar to tell me it’s time to tell Jonathan he is awesome.
So back to my negative comment…
Because I moderate my comments from first time commenters, I could have just delete this comment today.
I didn’t….
I approved it. I didn’t like it but I approved it than I replied to it.
I am not sure if this was spam or real and I don’t know if he will see my reply.
As my friend Sue said when I showed her the comment… “who peed in his cereals this morning?” 🙂 We will probably never know but I hope for his sake that one day he gets the recognition he so wants.
What about you? Do you get negative comments on your blog? Do you approve them or delete them? Do you reply?
How do you handle negative comments?
Lessons from my daughter 
First of all, don’t take it personally! People who do such things tell you more about them than anything you may have said or done. I have had one who is like a random stalker. His diatribes are not healthy and I will not encourage him by posting them. 🙂
Thank you.
Not everybody is ‘happy’ all the time and you show up with something you say that just does not sit well with them at that moment and bingo! They fire both barrels at unsuspecting you figuring this will make them feel better. Mean while you’re left scratching your head wondering what the heck are they talking about. (and blogging about it)
I got a negative comment once, I told him/her to kiss my arse. 🙂 I doubt they ever came back to read it anyway. Sigh, so many seconds wasted on a troll LOL
Lol. I don’t think my guy came back either 🙂
It seems you handled it in a very mature manner. It is something I think about because I was so keen to encourage people to comment on my blog that I switched comment moderation off from the start and I’m not sure I can really start using it now.
So far, everybody has been very nice, but I do worry about what I’ll do if I get a troll or something. My guess is that I’ll feel depressed for about a month. I think I’ll probably delete the comment too, although it’ll depend a bit on the actual wording, I suppose.
I believe a negative comment can create a good discussion if both sides decide to play nice.
A nasty negative comment or an attack in me, Emily or Jonathan would not be tolerated.
It would bother me too but I would do my best to move on and not let someone suck my positive energy for free! 🙂
Yes, one thing I worry about more than trolls writing “You’re an idiot!” about me is their writing “You’re an idiot!” about one of my readers. The real nightmare scenario is if two of my regular readers start writing “You’re and idiot!” to each other.
That made me smile. Although I can see the nightmare scenario, it still made me smile to imagine 2 of my readers going at it in my comments ….
I’m pretty sure you can still moderate the comments and remove what is not appropriate. At the end of the day, your blog, your rules!
That’s true. In the light of your recent experience I may have to revisit the question, I think.
I tend to ignore negative comments, especially if they have to do with my personal opinion about things…and if someone makes a nasty comment that has nothing to do with the topic of the post, then I just laugh and dump them in the ‘spam’ folder.
There’s enough negativity in life, already. I try to keep it from my blogging space.
🙂
Thank you. I agree with you. I can appreciate a different perspective, I enjoy a respectful debate but won’t tolerate nasty comments or personal attacks.
I don’t think I could have been as diplomatic in my response – I imagine my inner volcano would have erupted! So very well done. As for the comment, apart from being negative and rude, he came across as incredibly whiny and immature. Anyway, Fathers’ Day is celebrated on different days across the world, so by that theory everyone misses Fathers’ Day somewhere / sometime! As long as your husband is happy, that’s the main thing 🙂
Thank you! My initial reaction wasn’t “diplomatic”. I know many bad words… 😳
Hubby says he is happy so I think I’m good! 😊 I’m sure that guy is just frustrated in his own situation. He had to go looking for someone who missed Father’s Day as this is an old post…
It happens Pascale..it wasn’t so bad that you had to delete it…I’ve seen a few of those. And he’s allowed to express himself – although badly I might add…most likely something negative had happened to him and he was passing on his negativity. Although there are some bad ‘eggs’ out there, I believe most of us are pretty positive! So stay positive yourself! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh I read it, brutal!!! every person reads into what they are something going through. That was a very angry comment and sounds like he is not too appreciated…enough said, you did handle it beautifully! My first and only very negative comment, I kept it unapproved for 24 hours…did not sleep much that night and formulated a response on where I was coming from when I wrote it…the response was beautiful…the blogger explained she was in a difficult place when she read it …so I learned something in that. If comments are graphic and lots of inappropriate language however, I do edit that out on other comments
Thank you. I felt he was looking at it from his own perspective… I can only imagine that he feels under appreciated… My hubby, on the other hand, feels appreciated 🙂 even if I miss Father’s Day mostly because neither one of us puts value on holidays the calendar tells us about 🙂 I feel better when I receive unsolicited love and attention and I know it’s the same for Jon. I approved that comment but won’t approve anything hurtful directed at Emily.
I am with you on that. I would rather my adult children take me out for dinner or invite me just `because` rather than feel the pressure to do it on one specific day.
😃
It sounds like you handled it beautifully. I think if it was about the blog post I would approve it and not respond. If it was a personal attack on either me or my family it would be immediately deleted. There are too many trolls that are just looking for attention and I refuse to engage them.
Thank you. I wouldn’t tolerate personal attacks either. I strongly believe that people can disagree respectfully and debate a difference of opinion but I won’t be attack in my own house (or blog).
You handled that very well! Very proud of your deliberation and reaction, you did great!
Thank you. I really wasn’t sure what to do but went with my gut feeling.
I’ll discuss, as long as they choose to remain rational. I’m not arrogant enough to think my opinion is the only opinion. I can debate with someone. Don’t mind at all. But when it gets outta hand or mean or dissolves into something bad, I end it. If its someone I follow, I don’t follow anymore. If not, I ignore their posts and comments. Luckily, it’s only happened once. No longer following that poster.
I’m with you on that. I appreciate different perspective and will enjoy discussing as long as it stays respectful. I have no place in my world for negative people who are only out to create issues…
I agree. I came here for some clarity and serenity, not getting into pissing contests.
😊 Exactly
Congrats on your first troll! I have’t had one yet so I’m (almost) jealous 😀
Clearly not worth the time getting worked up about it, so no sense engaging them on this. I’m told that attention is usually what they’re looking for. Turn the page and move on I guess.
Thank you!
I don’t believe I got worked up as much as I was confused…
I find it interesting that it happened on that particular post as I think I had many others that were way more inviting to trolls 😏
I haven’t received one yet (knock on wood). I’m sure the day will come. This post was helpful in evaluating how I might handle it. I remember your Father’s Day post, and it was actually very sweet.
Thank you! It was a strange feeling and I had to go back and read my post as I was confused by the comment… I will continue to moderate and keep an eye on things 🙂 this is my blog and I feel I am allowed to delete whatever I want 😃
Good question. For me, I understand that I blog for two reasons, one because I like writing along with sharing my knowledge and to get noticed and like you I do have my Blog set up to moderate the first comment only, just in case it is spam. I view it like this, famous people to directors get lashed out on all the time, Wil Wheaton is a prime example and when you read some of his comments as to how he handles it, you get one aspect of how to go about a negative comment. I would allow the comment, but I would not respond because that would just engage that person even more. Now, if it were a real intrusive comment that would not be fit for anyone’s ears/eyes, then I would not approve. I would take a screen capture of the comment, file it.
Thank you for sharing. I would not approve comments attacking Emily but I feel confident that I could discuss or argue most comments. I do enjoy respectful arguments and I can appreciate a different perspective…
When I wrote the post “I Am “that” Parent”, I knew I was opening up the door to receive comments from people who had other ideas. I had a few come in (I also moderate comments) and I took some time to reflect on them before approving and providing a response. It was unnerving for sure – vulnerability is hard enough as it is without getting stomped on in the process.
There was one comment that came in on another post that I absolutely refused to approve, it was full of incorrect and horribly insulting statements (and it wasn’t even about me, it was about a CHILD), I just could not put it out there for public view.
I can appreciate a different perspective on things and I do enjoy a good discussion or argument 🙂 but I will not tolerate insults or direct attacks to myself or my family as this is after all my blog!
As for this gentleman’s comment, I think he is frustrated in is own situation and went looking for post about under appreciated men without really read what the post was about.
Thank you for reading and sharing about your own experience. I really appreciate it.
Some people take their own anger and frustration out on others. It’s unfortunate but the opening to post online comments seems to bring out the worst in some people. His attitude says far more about him than it does about your “mistake”.
I can only imagine he’s frustrated about something that has nothing to do with me or a post from months ago… Nonetheless, I figured my blog is public and he is allowed to comment and I’m allowed to reply and share his comment with the world 🙂