Mom, I’m paying for my food

We’ve open bank accounts for Emily a while back and we got her a checking account within the last year where she could put her money earn by doing chores or selling things in yard sales πŸ™‚

Emily tried to use her bank card once or twice before and we kept running into issues with how the bank had it set-up.

Jon is a patient man who kept going to the bank with Emily to rectify the situation.

Last time, he spent nearly an hour with them on the phone while at the mall explaining what was going on.

After that, I was reluctant to help her learn how to use her card if it didn’t work.

Our first try was at our branch, we went in and Emily took $20 out of her account at the ATM.

She could read all the messages on the screen (thanks to some expensive tutoring…) and she managed to get her money out.

On Thursday this week, I had to attend dinner with work and I had Emily with me. Thursday is the only evening Jon has something planned and I try really hard not to impact his plans. I had denied the invite to dinner until someone said to bring Emily. I had done it before, most of the group know Emily, they know she can’t stay home alone and as long as I pay for her food, there is no issue.

When I picked Emily up for dinner, she told me she was paying and she made sure she had her purse.

I thought that was cute! I figured she would change her mind and I was ok with paying for her food!

I helped her pick her food, she made me order it…

Talking to strangers (servers) appears to make her nervous. She was chatting with Jessie and with others around the table but I ordered for her.

At the end, when her bill came to me… She took it and said she was paying.

Our big table got quieter.

Emily, grabbed her purse, found her wallet and got her bank card out.

I asked her if she remembered her PIN. She said yes.

All I could think of was “please work”

Our server brought the debit machine and I took Emily through all the steps.

It’s much smaller than the big machine so I helped her read the messages, showed her how to press harder on the buttons so her answer recorded, explained about tip and how to know which button to press to register your answer.

After all was said and done, we had an approved transactions and the whole table clapped for Emily.

I didn’t realized they were following what was happening…

Emily was so proud. I was extremely proud too.

That was another step towards independence…

Her independence.

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New year resolutions

What’s your take on new year’s resolution?

I don’t “do” the resolutions thing.

The closest I’ve ever been to something similar to a new year resolution was a “morning after” promise to never drink as much as I had done the previous evening… I was 19 (legal to drink where I lived) and I have to say… I’ve been drunk since but never like I was that time… This decision has stayed with me for almost 20 years now.

Back to resolutions…

Probably for the same reasons I don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to profess my love to the people in my life… I don’t look at January 1st as a new beginning.

It’s true that I desire to lose weight. I would love to be healthier. A healthy back is something I dream of…

How will I get there?

By making small changes here and there… By taking time for myself. By loving who I am and feeling like I deserve to be healthier.

Is that a Resolution? I don’t think so because I can’t fail. I’m not saying I need to lose 50lbs. I’m saying that I will love who I am and take care of myself.

Can I measure my success? Depends who you ask I guess…

Over the last week, I’ve been heartbroken reading Facebook status of people who had decided last year at this time that 2013 was going to be the year their child would walk… It didn’t happen. They were upset, not at their child but at life…

I have never put any deadlines on Emily’s progress. Within months of her being born I had thrown out the what to expect in the first year baby book we had.

She didn’t meet any milestones.

After her diagnosis, I took what the doctors said and decided that Emily would do what she could and that we would adjust to her.

If she grew-up without being able to walk, we would get a wheelchair, get a better house for her to be able to navigate on her own, get a different car…

She couldn’t talk, not one specialist believed she would. We thought she would but learned sign language to help her. We got a PECS system for school… We found ways until she found her voice.

She couldn’t figure out the potty? We kept at it and did our best not to get frustrated by it.

If we had set a yearly goal for her to be toilet trained, we would have been upset…

Disappointed…

On a yearly basis…

For multiple years…

Instead, we figured the doctor could have been right and that this could be one of those things that she just wouldn’t be able to learn.

We didn’t give up but we didn’t put pressure on us and tried not to pressure Emily. We didn’t her to feel self conscious about this. It doesn’t help anything when you feel bad about yourself…!

Slowly, she learned. She got it!

We celebrated!!!

So here I am, applying the same thinking to my “non” resolutions.

No plans, small changes here and there. Keep at it… Love yourself. Believe in yourself.

Keep the desired outcome in mind when making decisions…

Celebrate every small steps.

Is this a resolution?

Do you make resolutions?

Ok, fine… I made one, years ago. I decided to be happy… Every single day, I make the same decision… Today is going to be a great day. Today I’m happy! I wish to continue to be happy on my birthday cake candles and on fish bone wishes. Any wishes really :).

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