Yes, Emily said that over the weekend.
She was upset about something and informed us that she was planning on moving out.
…
I moved away for school when I was 17 so technically, she could be moving out next year.
Technically, in another world, she would start Grade 12 next year and within a year could be moving out.
…
I’m sad she won’t…
And
I’m delightfully happy she won’t…
I’m conflicted!
…
Emily hinted before at the possibility of moving out but it was never like it was this weekend.
She made her announcement while sitting at the table waiting for food to be deposited on the table in front of her.
Life is hard in our house!
I get that the other kids at school are talking about career choice and going away to University. Hearing those things make her think.
I can’t squish her dreams and aspirations for a carreer or for one day moving to an apartment.
So, how did I handle the moving out comment?
I said:
Ok baby, if you want to be ready to move out next year we need to get you ready.
We need to look at how much money you will need to pay rent, electricity, internet, tv and your phone bill.
She looked confused.
We will need to make a budget so you know how much money you need. You will need to earn your money because I already pay for everything here, I can’t pay there too.
She just kept looking at me.
Next, we need to figure out how you will get to school. I won’t be there to drive you around so you will probably need to learn how to use the public bus system. Maybe we can start looking into that soon.
Complete silence.
And we should start looking at things to do around the house… Cooking, cleaning, laundry… Finding your way to the laundromat.
“Well, I’m taking a dog!”
Which one?
Maple!
Ok, well keep in mind, she has a nervous bladder and likes to pee on furniture so you will need to keep that under control.
She didn’t look as excited about moving out anymore.
What about night time? Will you be ok on your own? You should start staying home on your own for small amount of time so you can slowly get used to being on your own.
…
“Mom? I think I’ll stay here a little longer!”
Yes, life is not so hard here after all…
Lessons from my daughter 
Reblogged this on Lessons from my daughter and commented:
Emily hasn’t mentioned this again 😊
LOL, well done! 🙂 I’m a big fan of “Okay, I’ll support your decision, let’s talk about how you’re going to do it and get started” and sometimes just that discussion is enough to help all of us see how good we have it!
I was hoping it would work! I’m just trying my best to navigate this parent gig to the best of my abilities… Sometimes, I have no idea what I’m doing. There is no book in raising Emily.
As much as the rest of us may pretend, there is no book for us, either. It is just a different set of challenges we all get to face 🙂
It certainly is.
You handled that beautifully !
Thank you. I keep trying to allow her to make decisions but in order to make am informed decision, she needs to know the facts.
What an amazing mom you are!! In some provinces here kids can leave at 16!! legally..thank goodness only at 18 here in Québec but still…you offered her the most wonderful gift…life skill and an abundance of love and understanding!! wow! did I tell you were amazing?!!
Thank you. I try my best. I didn’t want to impose a ” no, you are not!” I wanted her to understand some of the implications. It worked for now.
Marvelous approach to that announcement. No argument just those really uncomfortable facts of life that kids (and at 17 they’re still a kid) don’t understand.
I remember my brother (age about 19) complaining about following my dad’s rules. And dad said, “Well, that’s fine. You’re out of school. Quit college, get a job and get a place of your own and you can set the rules. I’ll give you a month to figure out how much you’ll need to earn, where you’re going to get a car, how you’re going to provide yourself with furniture (because your mom and I aren’t going to give ours away), check on the cost of utilities, food, insurance, gas and everything else we pay for and let me know when you’ll be moving.” In less than a week he decided that staying in college and following the rules wasn’t that bad.
That’s what I figured I would do. Just facts and a long list of things she needs to learn… It’s funny how she’s so typical in some of her reactions.