I know I am the enabler!
I know I am not helping anything by allowing this to continue…
But….
I also know that I function better when I sleep at night. I know that Emily functions better on a good night sleep.
Everybody needs to sleep but especially “I” need to sleep.
I am a sleeper!
So when life dealt me a baby who didn’t sleep it was hard.
My baby girl NEVER slept. We were exhausted.
Eventually we figured out that Emily needed to be held, needed some major cuddling time to fall asleep.
We installed a mattress on her bedroom floor.
I cuddled her, held her in my arms, my leg over her legs, my arms around her body and counted how many time she would breathe. If I could make it to 60 breath in and out without her moving, she would be sleeping.
Many times, I fell asleep before her.
😴
At that time, we still didn’t have a diagnosis. Everything was fine with Emily, no doctors paid any attention to our distress. Nobody suggested weighted blankets and special clothing that could have help calming her at bed time…
All we had was cuddles so we cuddled!
We had a short year when Emily was 4 when she slept in her bed but than we moved and stayed in a hotel room for a month.
New place, everybody was speaking English instead of French, everything was different.
We bought a new house.
And Emily was no longer sleeping… Again!
I had a new job, everybody was speaking English all the time (I’m French) I was exhausted and couldn’t imagine going through that “no sleeping” phase again.
I needed my sleep.
So I started to cuddle with Emily.
We had a double bed so we bought a king size bed.
I know, you are judging, you are thinking I need to wake-up and put her to her bed.
Again and again and again.
We tried…
It didn’t work!
I know, you are thinking we should have continued trying.
Well, I am not perfect and I value my sleep.
So, Emily is now 15 and we are still cuddling.
She goes to sleep in my bed and when I go to sleep she turns around and cuddles.
When she’s over excited, I still need to hold her for a little bit but she eventually fall asleep.
When I lay on my tummy… She cuddles on my back.
When I’m on my side she puts my arm around her.
When I am on my back, she puts her head on my shoulder and her arm around me.
When she’s sick, she lays on me.
💤💤💤💤
So I am the enabler, I allow this but I am a sleeper.
Jon sleeps in the other room when he is home but 5 out of 7 days a week he works over night so all is fine.
We all sleep!
See there… That was my spot!
Go ahead…. Tell me I am wrong! Tell me I am right. Tell me something.
Lessons from my daughter 
I read this after your Google pic on my phone but had too much to say. This post brings back memories!! With our first child, my son, I rocked him to sleep until he was 4, he crawled in bed with us at 4am and just snuggled between us, sucked his thumb and minouched our neck! My daughter had to sleep in her bed as an infant, did not like to be touched much…the only time I could hold her was nursing her…so yeah, that went on for a long time for ME…haha and I think it was her way to cuddle too. But at one it changed and we had to sleep in her bed to put her to sleep…I would minouche every so gently her arms..she still does it to herself 🙂 And between 3 and 4am….the gang piled in bed…we got a bigger bed too. I needed to sleep and it was the simplest way so we all could sleep. I worked on a parent line for a few years and I would tell parents, whatever works for you is fine…I cringe when I see shows like the Nanny and one episode the mom had 4 kids, the youngest 9 months old and she made her wean her and settle in her own bed…I found that abusive and cried throughout the show for the mom and baby. Tu es parfait comme tu es, Pascale!!
Thank you. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m perfect but you said it 🙂 so I will accept it.
Good and I love your positive outlook on your blog!
Thank you. I always try to find the positive spin in all kind of situations
Allie takes meds to help her sleep through the night. But even with that, when she has a sleepover with us, it’s not unusual for her to come out at least once to get Kathy. To start the night, Kathy curls up with her in her bed and whispers to her, scratches her arms and back and just cuddles her until Allie falls asleep. When she comes out, in the middle of the night, she goes right to Kathy and takes her back to the bed. Thank heavens my wife can lie down with Allie, comfort her and put her back to sleep and then come back and go to sleep again. When it happens more than once a night, it’s really hard and Kathy is drained the next day. Do what you need for you both to get a night’s rest.
you do whatever you and your family need and don’t let others’ judgements both you. sometimes human touch and the power of a hug makes all the difference in a life. as you have seen )
Thank you. I don’t let opinions bother me. If I did, I wouldn’t sleep at all… :). I would always be worrying about everything.
I think that sometimes, as parents, we need to put survival ahead of all else. Even at the risk of having people disagree. I support what you are doing. I would (and have) done the same with babies who don’t sleep. My babies aren’t as old as Emily, but I still bring them to my bed (or curl up in theirs) when they are having nights they won’t sleep!
Thank you. I appreciate your nice words :).