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Can or can’t do?

I don’t have a lot of “me” time and lately I have used all of it to write this blog!


In a typical week, I would say I have almost 2 hours to myself on Saturday morning between 9 and 11am when Emily is working with her tutor.

During that time, I could go to the market, take the dog to the park, pick-up some grocery, start the laundry….. so many things I could be doing but instead of all that….

Instead of all that….. I drive to a small coffee shop not far from the Sylvan learning Centre and I order a breakfast sandwich (with bacon) and a cafe latte.

I sit there and I read, plan vacations or just play with my phone.  Once my food and drink are done, I get back to my car and go sit in the parking lot by the Centre and stay there until Emily is ready to come home.

For me to be alone is a luxury!  I have so little of this time with myself that I treasure this 2 hours a week!

I don’t really mind the fact that I always have someone with me, I just miss the little things…. stretching in a bed on my own, sitting on the toilet and expecting the door to the bathroom to stay closed, showering, getting dress…..!

Normally my 2 hour is spent really selflessly, reading something of absolutely no importance.  That’s how I want to spend those 2 hours….

This morning, I decided that I needed to fill this form the school sent home a couple of weeks ago….. maybe a month ago….

It’s not a form, it’s a document…..  15 pages, 30-35 items per page.  All actions that I need to determine if Emily can or can’t do.

It’s called a Function Independent Skills Handbook (FISH assessment)

It’s meant to help determine what Emily’s teacher & resource teacher will be focusing on next year when she transitions to High School.

It’s depressing…  not as depressing as the last time I filled it and definitely not nearly as depressing as the first ever assessment we filled for Emily but still…

When I started answering the questions, I figured I should wait until it was cocktail time to do this but I had ignored it long enough so I just kept going…

Well, it is official…. she can’t cook, do laundry, clean around the house or do any type of woodwork  🙂

And I don’t know if she can operate an audio-tape player…..???  That one made me laugh out loud in the coffee shop!  I don’t think Emily has ever seen a tape (cassette) player…  Do they still exist?  She can certainly manage a CD player, DVD player, XBOX, Play station and Wii but a tape player….  LOL!!!  I have no idea!!!

Ok, so that one line item helped making that painful task a little bit less painful!

Still, I decided years ago to look at Emily for Emily and not to compare her to a chart….

Every time I have to chart her, it hurts…!

So today my happy though is………. a tape player?  Really?  Also, all the questions about speakings……. she got those, she can now speak!!!!

I will ignore all the “can’t” or “requires help” items….

I will move on to the pile of laundry….  maybe I should try to teach both Jon and Emily how to split the colors and remove the delicates….  or not!

It’s a challenge for both of them!

If you were to look at one of your loved ones (with or without a disability) and list all of their challenges in life, would you be able to turn-around, set them aside and concentrate on the positive or would you be focusing on all the things they can’t do?

Try to imagine having to repeat this exercise on a regular basis… could you continue to focus on what they can do, on those small things you love about them and not concentrate on the challenges and negativity….?




6 thoughts on “Can or can’t do?

  1. Ol so maybe all the “accidents” (pipi caca) we are getting frpm both boys don’t seem so bad if I think of everything they can do or how smart they are. At age 3 1/2 Felix told us he wanted to learn to read so he could read stories to his then 18 month old brother. He’s the sweetest boy i know. Merci Pascale, I’ll try not to get upset next time we change another pair of underwear. xxx

  2. P. I have just read every single entry in this blog. I am touched, inspired, laughing, tearing up and cheering you on all at the same time. Bravo! Next time I am asked which is my favourite superhero I will say ” Super Emily!”

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