What I wish I could tell my 24 year old self the night we received Emily’s diagnosis

passun

I have been thinking about this post for a long time.

The evening of October 6th 1999, after we received Emily’s diagnosis of Cri du Chat Syndrome, I was destroyed.  I hung-up the phone and curled-up on my bedroom floor crying.

Jonathan was in shock, sitting in the living room chair where he took the same call.

Sometimes, I think about those new babies being diagnosed, I imagine their parents in similar state of mind as Jon and I were.

I wish I could tell them that it’s ok to cry.

Just cry, get it all out.

Hug your baby.  He or she didn’t die with the diagnosis but who you thought your baby would be did.  Give yourself time.

Remember to be gentle with yourself, your spouse and your baby.  This is happening to all of you.

You are stronger than you ever imagined.

Don’t read so much about the diagnosis. Get to know your baby first.

You will have a lot of time to learn about the diagnosis, you will be submerged in information, you will meet many doctors, learn lots of new words and attend a lot of therapy sessions.

Take notes, if you or your spouse can’t attend an important appointment, bring a friend.  It’s amazing how even when 2 people attend the same appointment, they don’t remember the same things.  Years later, do this for school meetings too!

Feel free to remove negativity from your life.  Yes, this includes Facebook and  other social media.

Your family is your priority.  Your family includes yourself, take time for you and allow your spouse to do the same.  Find time for each other too.

Remember to be a couple.

Trust your gut.  You will be the expert on your child’s “everything”.  Even when you will have no clue about what is happening, you will be the expert!  Trust your gut.

You will become your child’s support team, nurses, doctors, therapists, advocates and so much more but above all that, you are your baby’s parents, you are a couple, this is your family!

The diagnosis will change your life.  It will be difficult but it will be rewarding.  There is no book written on this, you will write your own story as you go.

Celebrate every single little thing.  Find what makes you, your spouse and baby happy and celebrate away.

Laugh until your tummy hurt.  Be silly, every chances you have otherwise the seriousness of the situation will suck you in and that’s no fun at all.

LOVE yourself, your spouse and your baby.

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Did I miss anything?

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NEW!!!  We have a Facebook page: If you want short updates and timely pictures of the little things that are happening in our life, please like and follow Lessons from my daughter‘s page.

You can also find me on Twitter at @plebrass

I am on Pinterest too: Lessons from my Daughter

I just discovered StumbleUpon but I have no clue what to do there: I believe you can find me under plebrass but I need to spend quality time there.

Find more about about Cri du Chat syndrome at 5p- Society

Emily has a her own page in the family stories , you can find it here: Emily

Good night!

Over lunch one day, the guy sitting to my left was talking about his son’s bed time routine.  When he was done, he took time to tell me that his son his mildly autistic and that his routine and his need to ask the same question over and over again is comforting to him. 

I smiled and told him that I understand that.  Emily has Cri du Chat syndrome and her bedtime routine is extremely important. 

Up until a year ago, she was sleeping next to me, in my bed, every single night. 

IMG_3287I gave up on trying to make her sleep in her room 12 years ago when she was 5. 

12 years of elbows, knees, cold feet and an extremely warm body plastered against me. 

12 years of cuddles. 

12 years of going to bed with her in order to hold her until she fell asleep. 

I knew some medication could help her but I picked cuddles over drugs. 

A year ago, out of nowhere, Emily said she was going to her bed and she did!

Back to her routine!

I asked her tonight if I could write about it and she said yes. 

Emily gets ready for bed on her own, she changes in her pajamas and brushes her teeth. 

Than we get her room ready. 

Extra pillows and cushions go in a specific order in their special spot. 

We plug her phone in our room (we changed that recently as when it was in her room she was playing with it in the middle of the night)

We start the floor fan (summer, fall, winter, spring). 

The blind needs to be pull down completely, no light can enter the room 

We turn the tv and dvd off, set a DVDs box in front of the dvd player to block the lights and set the remotes I front of the box. 

We turn the ceiling fan on. 

Emily jumps in bed and says she’s freezing. 😜

She lays down in the same comfy spot in the same exact position every night. 

I give her the 2 babies who always sleep with her and their baby blanket. 

Next, it’s blanket time. 

First, her “horse” fleece blanket than her bed sheet, than her duvet, followed by the Toronto Maple Leaf fleece blanket, the Justin Bieber fleece blanket and finish is all with the princess fleece blanket. 

In that order 365 days per year. 

Once she’s under this pile of blankets, I jump on the bed, on Emily 😜 and hug her. 

I sing “soft kitty” while tickling her nose with my hair and/or rubbing behind her ears. 

After the song, I get up and say good night to all the pretend friends, humans and pets in her room and we go over the rules

There are 6 rules for the pretend friends and some rules have sub-categories.   This takes a couple of minutes. 

Once it’s all said and done I say good night and walk out while closing her door and making sure all the hallway lights are off too. 

If we are interrupted, we need to start again at the song 😳. 

The guy at the lunch table, from the beginning of my story, felt Emily’s routine was more complicated than his son’s. 

I felt their routine was way more complicated than Emily’s.  

Emily’s bed time routine is awesome.  We get her room ready than set her up to have a great night’s sleep! 

I couldn’t think of any other way for me to have great sleep!  

Good night!  

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Find more about about Cri du Chat syndrome at 5p- Society

Emily has a her own page in the family stories , you can find it here: Emily

If you want short updates and timely pictures of the little things that are happening in our life, please like and follow Lessons from my daughter‘s page on Facebook.

You can also find me on Twitter at @plebrass

I am on Pinterest too… one day I will figure out what to do there other than finding cool recipes but meanwhile, you can find me here: Lessons from my Daughter